These are all questions and many more that get asked when we have started to tell people that we are in the process of opening our home to foster care. I feel like a looney lately because the thought of it just makes me cry. I cry because... my heart aches so much. I cry because I begin to think what if we wouldnt have listened to Lord when adopting Zyan he wouldnt be ours. So that emotion in itself begins to come up inside of me. I cry because when you feel like Jesus is literally right there embracing you; cant help but be flooded with emotion. I cry because I see how the Lord has worked in my husbands life. How he wants to lead our family in this journey and love the fatherless. I cry because God hasnt just spoke to me but to Andy as well and telling us the same thing without really hearing his "verbal" voice. I cry because of our stepping out in CRAZY faith others are doing the same. We are know different then anyone else. I cry because if we dont give these kids a chance then who will? The list could go on and on about why Im crying...
So to answer all your questions...Yes, I am sure, Yes I am scared, Yes I am anxious, No, I dont know if I will be able to handle it at times and the last question....we dont know if we will ever have our "own". It seems like when we begin to talk about having bio kids the faces of these fatherless children come into our mind and then here we go again! As far as we are concerned Zyan is our own. He resembles us in so many ways its crazy. Soooooo.....you can stop asking when are you going to get pregnant and when are you going to start trying. We are trying, trying to do what God wants us to do and that is to move forward with this. Our journey continues, each day at a time.
Finished our CALL/PRIDE training Nov. 17
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